Recovering Joy

A few weeks back, while headed to our small group from church, a friend who was riding with my wife Barbara and I, asked me a seemingly straightforward question – one of those that you would think you should be able to answer immediately. Instead, I struggled. I pondered… much longer than I should have.

“Bud, what brings you joy?”

What took place in my brain the over the next few seconds (but seemed much longer to me), went something like this…

Oh, that’s easy! … Wait… Maybe it’s not easy… That used to bring me joy… but, wait, it’s not a part of my life right now. Oh, yeah, there’s … no that really doesn’t... Why is this so hard!

What I settled for was, “That’s a really good question, Cathryn!” Which, of course, is universal “answer code” for, “I got nuthin’.”

The conversation went on, I mentioned a couple of vague things, and then turned the question back to her, and to my wife. They seemed to have a much easier time answering than I did.

Ever since then though, that question has haunted me. I’ve continued to ask myself several questions: Why was it so hard to answer such a simple question? What does bring me joy? Have I lost mine? How did that happen? How do I get it back?

Fast forward to a few days ago. My wife and I left for the first vacation we’ve taken in nearly three years. (Yes, I know, you’re probably already starting to answer a couple of those questions above, for me.) We’ve been blessed to be able to spend some time at the beach with a dear friend. Our first night away, Barbara and I talked about what we thought God was going to speak to us while away. It has often been our experience that He speaks to us a little differently – or maybe we’re able to hear Him better – when we get out of our typical routines. We have confirmed Mark Batterson’s theory many times…

A change of Pace + A change of Place = A change in Perspective

At some point after that conversation, while I was falling asleep, and then continuing when I woke up in the middle of the night, God confirmed what it was in me He wanted to speak to… Joy. Why I couldn’t answer the question. What happened to mine. And, most importantly, how I could get it back!

I’ve since been doing a little studying and reading about Joy. I’d like to share a little of what I’ve learned.

The first thing I discovered is where we can find joy – important for those of us who may find it elusive.

“In your presence is fullness of joy.” Psalm 16:11 (NKJV)

Well, that’s straightforward enough! In His presence. That’s where you can find joy. I believe a lot of life’s answers can be found there, actually. This is a great place to start, but there’s more to it though.

Something else I read, spoke about how, since joy is part of the fruit of the spirit, as with any fruit, it must be cultivated. You must actively work on keeping it fed and watered. You must tend it and take care of it. It can’t just be expected to grow and thrive if it’s ignored. At some point, without the proper care, it will start to decay. As I’ve heard said many times over the years, “what isn’t growing is dying.”

One additional piece to my “recovering joy” puzzle that I’ll share with you is this… Stress and anxiety cannot share the same place as joy and peace.

Vanessa Gracia Cruz, in her book, Joy: More than an Emotion, A Fruit of the Spirit, makes the following insightful observation, “Stress is the result of dozens of anxious thoughts about things you can’t control but are unwilling to lay at God’s feet. Joy, however, is the result of training your mind to take things to Him instead.” At which point she invokes Philippians 4:6, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (NIV) There is more to this, but ultimately anxiety is a choice. Are we going to deal with the things we can’t control – in our own strength – or are we going to give them to God – and trust Him to handle it?

Oh, and where must we be to give Him these things? In His presence! It’s all starting to make sense, isn’t it?

I’m still working through studying all of this, but I can tell you I have some quick answers now, the next time someone asks what brings me joy. And, once I get it all back, I’m working on a strategy to not lose track of my joy ever again.

Finally, in the category of, “you can’t make this up!”, a few minutes ago I realized that the radio station that has been playing while I’ve been writing this (and that we’ve listened to often during our time away) is called, wait for it… JOY FM! And their tagline? “Helping you find joy!” Tell me our God doesn’t speak to us in all kinds of ways – and has a sense of humor!

So today, I pray that my little story and the few things I’ve learned recently, will help you recover your own joy if you feel you’ve lost it. Or help you to hang on to it, as the world constantly tries to strip it away from you. You need your joy – and the world needs to see you being joyful!