On Dreams and Seasons

Let me start by stating that I continue to be in absolute awe of the way God works and moves in our lives. As anyone who knows me or reads these posts know, my precious wife Barbara went home to be with Jesus about ten months ago. This past season has been the most difficult I have ever had to walk through. At the same time, I feel I have become closer to Him than I have ever been. Part of it out of necessity – the person I was closest to went to be with Him, and that leaves quite a void in your life. A void which God ever so graciously longs and desires to fill, for anyone going through grief and loss. And part of it out of choice – there is no one I would rather spend time with during this season, then Him.

All this coming after a period of time where I continued to tell Barbara, “This is just a season!”. What I meant by that was all that we were dealing with and facing was going to end eventually. I meant it to be encouraging. For her and for me. In my world, the “end of the season” was going to be when she was completely healed from what she was dealing with and ready for the next ten years of her life. God’s plan was different. It was just a season alright, but not the one I thought it was.

During that final season she was here with me, many of our dreams had to be put on hold. Barbara and I loved to dream together. Whether it was something we wanted to add to our garden, (“A Koi Pond? Sure, we can do that!”), a trip we wanted to take, (“It’s not that long of a drive! Sure, let’s go!”), a business we wanted to build, (“What would happen if we just went all in and started right now?”), or even publish a book together, (“How cool would it be if we wrote all of this down and made it available to the world?”)

The first three all happened (the second one multiple times), but that last one… That one was still hanging out there when she went to her heavenly home. We had spent nearly twenty years working and refining a marriage study that we called ReConnect. It was a long season of writing, researching and “test driving” it with numerous couples. Last summer, just months before Barbara went home, we had it edited and proofed by a very talented and dear friend. It was just about there! And then her health took an even worse turn.

At Barbara’s memorial I made the statement that all of our dreams were still going to come true. In her mind, there was never a doubt that they would. She would often say, though, “I hope I’m alive to see it.” It was just a matter of time, in her eyes.

Now, back to this season in which I find myself. While it may be the most difficult season I’ve ever faced, I’m also looking at it as a season to make our shared dreams come true.

So, about that book. Last February I reached out to a publisher. One of the biggest steps of faith I’ve ever made. And fast forward, ReConnect: A Marriage Study was officially released earlier this week! God did it. Now we enter a season of getting this book into the hands of as many couples as possible. Of leading classes through the material and facilitating group sessions. Of speaking to churches and other groups about marriage and relationships. And more writing. Lots more writing.

This space has been an outlet for my writing for over 12 years now, and it will continue to be. I am just as passionate about the idea of living “unfiltered” for God as I have ever been. I find myself with more time to write now – it’s a new season – so there will be more books. Barbara was almost finished with one herself, that I am going to get completed. And I have two or three more that are in progress.

This isn’t meant to be self-promoting in any way, shape or form. All the glory in this situation goes to God. He is working a plan that is so far beyond my own comprehension. I suspect Barbara has a better idea of His plans now, than I do. And I know that she is seeing these dreams of ours come true. And you know what? She IS alive. More alive than she was ever able to be on this earth.

Dreams do come true. Don’t give up on them. Don’t you EVER give up on them.